Top Five Reasons I Want A Monkey

I love monkeys, always have and yes I know when they reach puberty they become obnoxious. Well...HELLO, monkeys do not have the market cornered on that trait and I didn't give my kids to a zoo when they were teenagers. Thought about it a few times but frankly, the paperwork was pretty overwhelming.

TOP FIVE REASONS I WANT A MONKEY

5. Morty and Gingles need a pet. I can buy a little saddle and they can take turns giving Mr. Wilson rides. Why did I choose Mr. Wilson? No reason, except I like the sound of Mr. Wilson...dignified but fun-loving. The Lord knows I do not want an undignified monkey.

4.  Clothes!! Nothing cuter than a monkey all dressed up in a little suit with a matching hat.

3.  Chores...I have every intention of raising a monkey with a good work ethic. He will learn to dust, empty the dishwasher, fold towels and maybe the top shelf of the bookcase will finally get dusted.

2.  I have always wanted a pair of cymbals. What better excuse to purchase cymbals then as a welcome home gift to your new monkey. Should I tell my neighbor Lib about the cymbals? Naaaaa....let them be a surprise.

1. The absolute number one reason is to irritate my daughters. My goal is to always keep them guessing as to what the 'old girl' is up to this week and I think showing up at their front doors with a monkey will be a real Kodak moment. Now all I have to do is decide if I bring the cymbals on the first visit.

                                                                    What I want....BUT

                                                                   this is what I will end up with. 

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